You know what sucks? Chris working two jobs. I’m pretty sure we’re both in agreement that it sucks pretty bad for both of us. For him, because most weeks, he is working 7 days a week, and on the weekdays he works 16 hour days. For me, because when we agreed he would get a second job, I (graciously) agreed to relinquish him from all house hold duties. That means every diaper change, every early morning wake up, every bath time, every bag of garbage, dish, what have you, is all me. Every household chore is my sole responsibility. Not that he did much, to be honest, but I have agreed to stop nagging him to do any of those things. And I can successfully say, I don’t even ask him ONCE to do those things anymore. I give him the CHOICE if he wants to change a diaper, since he only sees the kids for a few minutes every morning and it seems like it would be a small bonding opportunity, but he graciously declines.

You know what else sucks? Best Buy changed to their holiday hours this week, which means, from now until after Christmas, he won’t get home until 1130 every night (because they didn’t change weekend hours THANK GOD). And now that it’s like this during the week, we’re too exhausted to do more than mumble to each other on the phone for 30 minutes while he drives home. When he does finally pull into the driveway, I stuff my face with whatever he brings me to eat, and then pass out.

We are so tired and now that the holiday season begins NEXT WEEK (I don’t consider it the holiday season until Santa comes at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade) it’s just going to suck even more, I can almost guarantee the crazy amounts he’ll be working. There is a lot of emptiness in the house at night, and a lot of loneliness and staying up and waiting. I know it could be worse; he could be in prison, or deployed; at least I know he’s coming home every night.

The one I feel most bad for, however, is not Chris or myself. It’s Caitlin. She’s starting to realize and understand her daddy isn’t around as much as he used to be and the mornings he leaves for work tug at everyone’s heart strings. She sits by the front door or living room window crying for him for a few minutes until I get her to snuggle in with me and convince her she’ll see him tomorrow. She’s even started neglecting her daily duty, which is to wake him up when he hits the snooze buttons. But then, along with that, comes the heartbreak I feel for Chris, as he tries to explain to her that he has to go to work and he’ll see her tomorrow morning and on “such-and-such” day, he’ll get to spend time and play with her. During bed time when he’s not home, she crawls up the stairs, reluctant and crying, looking back at the door with every step.

Luckily, this is a temporary thing and he might be done after the holidays. He hasn’t decided what he wants to do as of now, whether he wants to continue for a few months after January. It all depends on a bunch of things. It’s really hard running off as little time we get together, but absence makes the heart grow fonder. At least my bed isn’t empty at the end of the night.