Every child inherits something from their parents. Like, in my family, my sister, oldest brother and myself all inherited my mother’s highly…volatile emotions (don’t any of you deny it). It’s not a bad thing, we are just…more likely to interpret something incorrectly and take offense to it. It happens. My other two brothers received my dad’s level-headedness or ability to disguise their feelings as “rational thinking”. Something else I got from my mom, other than my stunning good looks? Her horrible feet.

My mom’s feet are really terrible. Her toenails don’t grow in any sort of healthy way, which often causes ingrown toenails. Her pinky toe is also really weird and, like, has almost no toenail at all. I have the spitting images of my mother’s feet. I’m not sure if any of my other siblings have this issue, but if I had to place money on one, it’d be my middle brother, and the oldest brother would be my second choice. But I’m sure they don’t have the pinky toe thing, which I, unfortunately, do. Which brings about something else I got from my dad. He’s a picker.

My dad’s nickname in our family is “the civil war surgeon.” He has the inability to see any sort of abnormality without needing to intervene. You have a large, pop-able zit somewhere on you? Oh, you better hide it, because if he sees it he will corner you to get at it (which he has actually done). Ingrown toenail? You better not let him find out because next thing you know, your foot is soaking in ice water to numb it up while he prepares to extract it. If my dad was an actual doctor, I would hope he had really good malpractice insurance because sometimes, these “surgeries” on our feet would end up botched and actually needed to go to a REAL doctor to be put on antibiotics, and possibly also fixed. He meant well tho, it’s just one of his quirks. A quirk that in the game of genetics, to the disdain of my husband, I got. Once again, I’m not sure if any of my siblings got this as well, we try to keep our talks of ingrown toenail surgeries we have preformed to a minimum during family gatherings. But me? The combination of my mom’s horrible feet and my dad’s need to fix it is a dangerous one.

Toe It doesn’t look that bad right now, I just got out of the shower and cleaned all the nasty gunk off of it. But come morning it will once again look nasty and gross resulting in me continuing to not wear flip-flops until it’s healed. Thank god it’s raining all week!

Because of this combination, more-so my need to pick at anything with a set of tweezers, something that is usually stocked up in our house is pain relief Neosporin and Band-Aids. But for some reason, we are out of both. So I have to sit with it catching the air until Chris gets home because he is stopping at the store to grab more for me. And then after I get it cleaned up some more and disinfected properly and wrapped up, I then have to be careful not to have anything touch it, especially not very hard, otherwise I will scream and be in mass amounts of pain.

It totally sucks to have to sleep with a throbbing toe that bleeds if even slightly brushed when your bed mate is a 6’1″ 200-something lb gorilla that is a heavy sleeper and kicks a lot while dreaming.