I am having a really bad day. I’m struggling to keep it all together. My thoughts are jumbled, my nose is stuffed and my eyes are puffy. There is too much noise in my brain. Today I am completely overwhelmed by Oliver.
When he has good days, they’re good, and he’s a great kid; so much fun to be around. He’s funny and snuggly and surprisingly sensitive to others. But when he has bad days, they’re bad, where he’s rough and difficult and aggressive. And today’s been…well, bad.
He’s so different from Julia. I thought I knew what to expect and then he came along and blew all that out of the water. I thought I was prepared for life with two kids. Fuck, I thought I wanted three kids, but I’m not so sure about that now.
I have days where I feel like I have this whole ‘stay-at-home-mother of two kids two years apart’ thing locked down and then I have days like today where I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, or what the hell to do. Continue reading